What Almost Was Chapter Two

Title:  What Almost Was Chapter 2
Author:  RiHouston
Game:  Dragon Age Inquisition
Characters/Pairing:  Inquisitor Elayne Trevelyan/King Alistair Theirin; Inquisitor Elayne Trevelyan/Cullen Rutherford; Cassandra Pentaghast, Josephine Montiliyet, Leliana, and Sera all appear in this chapter.  I plan to have all companions, advisers and many NPCs appear throughout this story.
Disclaimer:  Dragon Age and all characters are the property of Bioware.  These are my writings and musings as I think of what if scenarios and write about them for my own amusement. 

The commotion in the yard above caught the commander's attention as he crested the stairs leading from the lower courtyard. Noticing the unusually large crowd gathered around the practice ring, Cullen knew that it meant that the Inquisitor had to be one of the combatants. The leader of the Inquisition always drew a large crowd. As he moved through the crowd drawing nearer to see the sparring match, he spied Sera sitting on the fence right as she signaled to some of the spectators watching along the perimeter of the practice yard. At her signal, water cascaded out of the upended buckets onto the sand beneath the ladies' feet. Cullen stared in stunned disbelief at the brazen prank he had just witnessed before he heard Cassandra's strangled cry. The Seeker had fallen solidly on her backside splashing into the mud. At the unexpected sight, Cullen couldn't help but laugh along with the other bemused spectators. Cassandra looked frustrated at her predicament, but the Inquisitor looked down at her with a smug look of satisfaction on her face goading the Seeker.

Rather than Sera's prank ending the fight as Cullen had suspected it might, Cassandra carefully stood back up to square off with the Herald once more. The look on the Seeker's face was determined as she set her jaw. Cullen knew that look from having faced her in practice himself and he stood there waiting on her attack. That look meant your feet needed to be planted and your guard up with your sword at the ready. In the mud, the Herald wasn't able to react as quickly to the impending attack as the Seeker suddenly surged forward. Before the Inquisitor could set her stance or have her shield up to block, Cassandra hit squarely into her knocking Elayne onto her side in the mud. Shouts and cheers erupted from the crowd in approval. Both women were now well muddied though they ignored it throwing themselves with renewed vigor into the fight. Cullen kept at a respectable and safe distance from the muddy ring since the spectators closest to the ring were wearing mud that had been slung about by the two warriors as they enthusiastically cheered the warriors on.

The Commander knew how competitive the ladies were and he knew that this match would be the talk of the barracks for many months to come. Usually he didn't agree with Sera's antics and pranks having been the recipient of more than a few, but the commander grudgingly admitted to himself that this particular one was boosting the morale among his soldiers and new recruits looking on. As Cullen watched them trade blows in the ring, his eyes kept lingering on the Inquisitor. He found himself thinking back to that day he spent with her playing chess in the garden. It was the first time they had ever really talked about anything, he even found himself opening up and talking about his family and she had talked about hers. Cullen had meant to find another chance to meet with the Herald outside of an official capacity, but they were both always busy with more pressing matters and concerns claiming their attention.

Another cheer erupted from the crowd breaking into his reverie as the Seeker landed in the mud once more. The mud made it difficult for the combatants to keep their footing and they were both covered in it. Elayne's long red hair was tied back away from her face, but some of the strands had slipped out and were now plastered with sweat and mud against her cheek and neck. Her face was streaked with mud hiding the dusting of freckles across her nose, but it made her green eyes sparkled brightly in contrast. Cullen's breath caught as he saw her in a way he had only glimpsed her once before; not as the Herald or Inquisitor, but as a woman who could make him trip over his tongue and make him feel as though he were an inexperienced young Templar recruit rather than the commander of the Inquisition's armies. The sound of her laughter carried over to him as she stood over Cassandra once more victorious.

Tossing her hair back over her shoulder Elayne looked down at the Seeker laughing at the sight before her, "Do you yield?" The jovial look on Elayne's face quickly vanished as Cassandra stood up in one quick fluid movement and used the element of surprise to land an unexpected attack knocking Elayne off her feet. As the Herald fell, she kicked her leg out in a sweeping motion, the toe of her boot hooking just behind the Seeker's knee buckling it as she followed through the sweeping motion. The Seeker ended up flat on her back in the mud just as Elayne's body laid out in the mud as well, her sword's hilt and her hand buried in the mud with her shield covering her body protectively.

As Elayne struggled to pull her sword hand free, Cassandra was able to regain her footing first looming over the Inquisitor with her sword at the Herald's throat. "I believe this match is mine Inquisitor." Cassandra stated.

Elayne looked up at the Seeker annoyed, "So it is." Cassandra held out a hand helping the Inquisitor up and they both stood there laughing and smiling at one another as the Herald congratulated Cassandra on a well fought match. Most of the onlookers stayed to wish the women congratulations and words of encouragement as they moved towards the crowd around the ring.

"Sera!" The Herald called out to the prankster elf before she could slip away in the crowd beckoning her to stay, "Everyone! Please join me in thanking the lovely Sera for making the day's match being such an amusing and challenging one!" The Herald started clapping and everyone turned their attention towards Sera and the Herald to shout out their thanks and join in the applause. Elayne made her way towards Sera smiling and laughing, Sera was beaming back at her glad that everyone had appreciated her planned prank. "It was great fun. If you had asked me, I wouldn't have agreed to it, but I am truly glad you did it." Watching Elayne intentionally keeping Sera's attention, Cullen noticed that Cassandra had slipped behind the elf unnoticed. When Elayne threw her arms wide to embrace Sera, the elf squealed in objection backing directly into Cassandra who had been waiting on the retreat. Both women held her in a muddy embrace, Cassandra from behind and Elayne standing in front of the elf hugging her slight frame against her. The Commander knew that they were strong enough to keep the wriggling squealing elf from budging.

As he stood off to the side with an amused smile, Cassandra happened to catch sight of the general. "Inquisitor," Cassandra's eyebrow quirked as she looked over Sera's head at Elayne, "I believe our Commander may care for a celebratory hug as well."

With their attention turned toward the Commander, Sera tried to escape the warriors but to no avail, "Yes, go hug the big burly lion man!" Sera cried out trying her best to wriggle away from the ladies' muddy embrace. The Herald loosened her grip on Sera satisfied that she had become messy with the mud from the shared embrace.

"Oh? Feeling left out Commander?" Elayne's eyebrows shot up in amusement and in question towards Cullen who started to slowly back away from the yard, his hands out before him in protest.

"It isn't necessary." Cullen called out in a commanding tone though he retreated a few steps away from the Herald and Seeker.

"Come now Commander..." Elayne entreated him as she threw her arms out wide before her.

The Commander looked at her in alarm remembering how they had trapped Sera and he kept his eyes on both ladies. "I-I have some duties to attend to!" The last bit was clipped and spoken a bit more excitedly as he made a hasty retreat towards the battlements as Cassandra and Elayne's laughs rang out behind him.

Wrapping one arm around Cassandra's shoulders, Elayne smiled broadly at the Seeker. "I believe that was quite possibly the most fun I've had since joining the Inquisition."

"Inquisitor?" Josephine's voice called out in strangled shock causing Cassandra and Elayne to both stop in their tracks and turn around towards the sound of it. Standing before the two muddied laughing women was the petite adviser resplendent in a formal outfit standing alongside a group of nobles with guards that from the looks of their clothing and armor marked them as Ferelden.

Elayne's smile disappeared and her arms dropped immediately to her sides as her face flushed in embarrassment. The Ferelden delegates weren't supposed to arrive until the evening and the situation she now found herself in caught her off guard. Judging by the shocked way Josephine was staring at her, she knew that this situation could be a complete embarrassment for the Inquisition. Now to take this situation and make the best out of it. Straightening her back she knew nothing could be done for her appearance and she was unsure of how much the group saw of her match so she scanned the group picking out the monarch before respectfully bowing to him, "Your Majesty, I give you my heartfelt apology on my current state and appearance." She looked properly ashamed keeping her head bowed slightly as she continued, "We have been eagerly awaiting your visit and by your early arrival I trust that your travels were unhindered?" As all eyes were on Elayne, the Herald noticed Cassandra slowly distancing herself away from the group to try to go unnoticed. The Inquisitor's unkempt state kept the Fereldens focused on her and unaware of the Seeker who was trying to leave discreetly with her dignity and pride intact.

The Ferelden nobles were openly shocked and stunned into silence unsure of what to say or make of the Herald of Andraste greeting them in such a state. It was a rare moment indeed and Alistair was grateful that for once the chatty nobles couldn't find their tongues. Alistair had been prepared to meet the Inquisition amidst formal pomp and circumstance befitting a person of the Herald's standing and the formality of their respective side's proposed alliance. He had been expecting some larger than life figure from the stories the bards sang of; a Herald blessed by Andraste herself. As the Inquisitor stood before him muddy, sweaty and embarrassed, she was more like a child waiting to be chastised and punished for ruining their clothing than a figure blessed by the Maker's bride.

Alistair had been a little nervous meeting the Herald well aware that his uncle was interested in arranging an alliance through marriage between the Inquisitor and himself. Shortly after the Blight ended, Teagan had paraded many eligible noble suitors before Alistair, all beautiful and enthusiastic about becoming a queen, but Alistair had turned each of them down uninterested. The Herald was only the most recent prospect in a long line of many noblewomen his uncle had suggested for his consideration. As with the others, Alistair was humoring his uncle without seriously considering the Herald as a prospect since all of the women fell short of his expectations. Seeing the mud covered woman fighting and grinning and joking with those around her, the Herald had caught him off guard. Smiling broadly at the situation he found himself in, Alistair appreciated the fact that for once he wasn't the one standing there being made to feel foolish in front of the nobles, "Inquisitor, we've been hearing of your deeds everywhere we go. It is nice to finally meet the fabled Herald of Andraste." He inclined his head towards her respectfully.

Josephine recovered from her shock at seeing the Herald and Seeker in their current state to make proper introductions of everyone making sure to avoid acknowledging Cassandra who had successfully withdrawn without notice. The adviser wondered how the Inquisitor didn't receive her message regarding the King's early arrival. That was a mystery she planned on looking into as she mentally noted to have a word with the Seeker as well.

Elayne to her benefit remained charming and formal despite her disastrous appearance after greeting the dignitaries in turn. "Your highness," she inclined her head towards Alistair, "gentlemen and ladies, it is truly a pleasure to meet you all. I will leave you in the capable hands of Lady Montilyet." Elayne quickly glanced in Josephine's direction as the adviser stood there silently observing the Herald with an unreadable look on her face. "Again, please accept my sincere apology at my greeting you in such a state." Elayne tried to make one last attempt at amends before taking her leave.

Alistair tried to ally her worries feeling a little sorry for the Inquisitor's current circumstance, "I find it refreshing to meet a noble not afraid to get dirty doing what is necessary to save Thedas." His eyes sparkled with his amusement as he gave her a courtly bow. "Until later my lady."

Elayne looked surprised at his courtesy and graciousness. He could have perceived her greeting him and his courtesans in such a poor manner as a slight and insult. Nodding her head in appreciation of his understanding she looked over at him curiously before turning to take up her sword and shield. Avoiding Josephine's disapproving look like a guilty child in trouble, she took her leave. Josephine discreetly motioned to two servants nearby to follow her to clean up the mud she left in her wake on the Keep's stone floors. Elayne knew that Josephine would never let her forget this moment.

****

The Commander sat behind his desk frowning as he read over one of the many reports stacked neatly on his desk. Reaching for his quill to pen a response he noticed that his hand was trembling. Casting a quick glance around his office to see if anyone was around to see the crack in his outward appearance, he let out a small sigh of relief seeing that he was alone. The tremor started to get worse so he balled his hand into a fist to gain some measure of control over it. He stood up abruptly, pushing off his desk as he started to pace about his office. His hand now tightly gripped the pommel of his sword, the leather of his gloves creaking softly as he flexed his fingers tightly around the steel while spasms shook them. Gripping his sword pommel was a habit he had formed to hide the tremors when he was in front of the others. The steel was comforting, reliable and sure unlike his own body that betrayed him as it quaked and shook from his denying it what it craved; lyrium. If only he could physically fight the addiction, but it was an opponent that was trying to slowly wear down his resolve constantly trying to tempt him into giving in and he had to remain vigilant and steadfast at each new onslaught. He was trained to fight temptation as a Templar, but he didn't know how much longer he could continue to hold out. His body was already worn down with his denying it what it wanted and craved and his mind was starting to become affected as his dreams haunted him more regularly each night. He questioned if he was starting to become affected too adversely that his ability to lead the Inquisition's forces had been compromised. The tremors were growing more frequent and stronger, affecting more than just his hands now as they worked their way up his arms and chest until he felt his whole body quake in their aftershocks. Not for the first time doubt clawed at his mind as he looked at his desk and the reports needing his immediate attention and response.

The same doubts that kept him from seeking out and spending more time with the Inquisitor. During his better moments he convinced himself that it was due to lack of time that kept him from seeking out her company, but in these dark moments when the lyrium withdrawal and doubt wracked his body and mind, he knew the truth of why he stayed away. He was afraid of the Inquisitor seeing him like this, a broken useless man unfit to command anyone, much less a growing force. He didn't want to see her look at him with disappoint, disgust or pity, but he felt unworthy of her and her attentions. The feeling of inadequacy and hopelessness made him exhale a long breath in frustration sounding almost like a guttural growl. The messenger laying a report on his desk jumped slightly at the unexpected noise before turning and hurrying out of his office. Cullen stopped pacing and shook his head in disappointment in what he had become, his hand gripping his sword tightly as his resolve strengthened. It's time.

His feet carried him to where he knew she would be, across the courtyard he entered the blacksmith. Cassandra was standing before the fire, cleaned up after the muddy match a few hours before. She was leaning against the stone surrounding the fireplace staring into the flames. Cullen cleared his throat to get her attention.

"Commander. Is there something you need?" Cassandra regarded the Commander seeing his normally controlled and calm exterior fractured slightly.

Cullen nodded, "In good consciousness I felt I needed to come here to tell you that I feel I am no longer fit for duty as Commander of the Inquisition's forces."

Cassandra felt herself hold back from making a strangled noise of frustration. The ex-Templar always doubted himself, always feared failing the Inquisition and she had promised him that if he were unfit for his duty as Commander then she herself would tell him, but here he was. She studied him carefully with keenly trained observation. She had already noticed the tremble in his hands which was not unexpected or new. She saw the circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep but again, that wasn't alarming. He had been holding up remarkably well, the Commander had a strong will and she knew that if anyone could overcome the cravings of lyrium it would be him. There was something more going on, something that drove him to seek her out and to declare his status to get her approval before addressing the others. "You are being ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with your ability to lead our men."

Startled at her matter of fact tone, Cullen stood there arguing at why he was unfit for command. Cassandra listened to his arguments calmly waiting until he finished. "If I felt you were unfit for command, I would have told you so myself before naming your successor." Staring at the surprise in Cullen's eyes, she continued on. "I think that there is something else that you aren't telling me. Something you are ashamed of and you are confusing your shame in that for your competency in leading our forces."

Cullen stood before her shocked at her accusation, "There isn't anything I feel ashamed of. These tremors are coming more often and are starting to affect my work. The Inquisition deserves a commander who gives everything they can to lead its armies and--"

"And we already have that in you Commander. Unless you believe that I am incompetent in my ability to judge whether you are fit to continue to lead our armies." Cassandra cocked an eyebrow up at him in expectation of a response. Wisely, rather than continue the argument, Cullen hung his head and mumbled his apologies as he took his leave from the smithy.